Happy Birthday 😂😂😂. Don't know why I'm so excited. I wish you God's continued grace upon your life, more money to live the life of your dreams and more creativity and visibility of your artworks.
Okay, prayers and wishes aside, i’m super excited for you to see your cake(you've probably seen it already before reading this note, but anyhoo). It sucked that I couldn't pout in your dm after decorating because this was supposed to be a surprise, so have it in mind that you are the designer(not everyone is blessed like you) and its the thought that counts.
Remember you said you were going to enjoy yourself today, no matter what, so you have to. I'll chat you up later today and ask.
Just realizing I could have sent all this to your dm but I'm liking the feel of these handwritten notes.
You really are amazing and you deserve all the good coming your way. Have a blast today!
P.S: You'll have to wait to taste my red velvet. I'm still traumatized.
It's been 9 days.
It still don't feel real.
I listen to your voice everyday. It's the voicenote where you're talking about maths and you sound so excited and happy. Sometimes, it fuels my fantasy that this is a very terrible dream and I'll soon wake up, and sometimes, it shatters me, cause how is it possible that that vn is the only way to ever hear your voice again?
Do you know the crazy part? People are moving on. People are telling me to move on.
It's barely been 10 days, and somehow, classes are back to normal, people are laughing and life is just….normal.
I keep expecting to see a notification from Instagram “ayocandraw liked your post” or a message from you on WhatsApp or a tweet that relates to something we've talked about in my DM on Twitter or new art from you blessing the feed on IG or your story showcasing other artists.
Anything but radio silence.
It doesn't matter how I look at it, there's no reality where it's sane that you get to die when we live in a world full of murderers and psychopaths.
I miss you.
I miss the almost daily chats about how our days went, just pouring out my mind in your dm and listening to you talk about how you felt that day. I miss missing you.
Do you know what I regret the most?
That we didn't say “fuck school” one of those days and just met up instead of waiting till Saturday.
I still can't stand seeing RIP on your pictures. I couldn't watch them cover up your grave, cause I still refuse to believe it's you down there. Maybe if I listen to your voice enough, I'll finally wake up and this would be the worst dream ever.
I baked your cake. Decorating was a bitch, just this time , I didn't cry at all so yayyy. It really didn't come out how I envisioned it , so it's the thought that really counts. Plus, I tried out this killer recipe, so the taste is definitely going to make up for the look.
I would give anything for you to taste it.
Maybe someday in the future, I'll be ready to say goodbye, I just know it's not today.